Pause in Starlight

Earth, sky, moon, and stars, all seem cemented, riveted together by the frost...Big stars hang in the woods between branches like blue lanterns. Small ones are strewn all over the sky like daisies in a summer field.-- Dr. Zhivago,  Boris Pasternak


I wobble down the road, eyes searching the sky.
Where are the stars? They're far to faint to find.
Too much light, Too much light,
It blinds them from my view.
So further down the road, I go, off to somewhere new.

Buildings crowd the streets, and streetlamps scattered round,
Chaos mixed with noise, stars nowhere to be found,
Cars rush by, headlights fly,
Glinting yellow fills the air.
Still further down the road, leave behind all other cares.

Hazy white and orange mix, set against the black of night,
Slowly the noise lessens, stars still veiled in light,
People fewer, buildings fewer,
Just enough to block my view,
Still further down the road, I roam, away from blinding hues.

Away from all the sounds, away from windows glass.
Pavement on the sides, fade away to grass.
Streetlights gone, all light gone,
Quiet darkness fills my eyes,
So there along the road I pause, below the waiting skies.

Here on the edge there's nothing, where anything could be,
Hiding in the stillness, in shadows, I can't see.
Go back, I think, go back,
The city's still in view.
Go back down the road, there's much there left to do.

The quiet here is ominous, too open for any sound.
Here the world is empty, clear for miles round.
Don't move forward, Don't move forward,
But I step into the dark.
For one has to stand in silence,
For one to see the stars.

Story of A Spider

 “I’ve lost my mind.” I mumble to myself.

I am sitting on my dorm floor, looking a big ugly spider sitting in the corner. My roommate and suitemates are out.

“Just kill the spider.” I tell myself.

But it isn’t bothering me. There is no one else around for it to bother, either.

I stand up and go to my desk. If I have to poke the spider out of the corner anyway in order to kill it, why not scoop it into a cup and release it outside?

Because it’s a spider, that’s why! It’s entirely unnecessary.  

I glance back at the creepy crawler. It is sitting totally still.

I sigh and grab a throwaway cup and a folder off my dresser. “I’m crazy.”

Bending down, I place the cup right against the corner. Carefully, I poke at the spider with the corner of my folder.

It runs into the cup, which I set upright quickly and cover with my folder. I smile. Success! Then I look down and realize I’m in my pajamas, and my hair is wet.

                Whatever, I think. I’ll only be outside for a second. I pull on a hoodie, though, just because.

                Then I remember. The door at the end of my hall sets off an alarm if it is open for more than 15 seconds. The door at the end of my hall doesn’t let you come back in through it.

                If I go outside, I’ll have to walk all the way back around to get back in. I look at the spider. I should just kill it and be done.

                “But it’s already caught,” I think. “I’m already committed.”

                So, I grab my ID and my key, shove them in my pocket and pick up the troublesome spider. “You’re lucky I’m alone in this room. Otherwise I would have killed you immediately.”

                I open my room door to leave, and as soon as I do, a wasp flies right in. I glare at it. “No, no, no no, no. I am not doing this again! Get out here.” The wasp ignores me and lands on my closet.

                But my hands are still full of my spider trap. “Fine, stay there.” I close the door and walk outside, hair wet, feet bare, and a spider in a cup. The hall door closes behind me and I walk into the grass, mumbling about my lack of sanity. I release the spider, telling it, “Don’t even think of coming back in.”

                It scurries off and I walk to the front door of my dorm. I go back into the building, down the stairs, and back to my room.

                I walk in and stare at the wasp… and proceed to repeat my insane process for a second time.

                What? I can’t kill a wasp! What if I miss? It would sting me.

                So back out my exit door I go. “I really must be crazy. I must be totally out of my mind,” I say aloud.

                But I release the wasp. And as I walk back inside, I look at the sky settling into its evening colors and feel a weird sort of happiness. Maybe the happiness came from getting to walk outside and see the sunset because of those bugs. Maybe it was because that spider and that wasp really weren’t bothering anyone. So didn’t they deserve a chance to live?

                 Perhaps those bugs were there to remind me that life is valuable, in any form. Just because we have the power to inflict pain, doesn’t mean we should.

                Or maybe, just maybe, I’m just plain crazy.