Fear of Falling

I was always a fairly cautious kid. When my sister and I were young and would play outside, I thought I was adventurous. I wanted to go exploring and climb trees. But at the same time, I was always the first to say, "Let's go back," or, "We shouldn't do that." I was the one to weigh the risk against the reward and find the risk greater. For all my want of adventure, I would still only go so far.

I would only go climb so far up the tree. I would only swing so high on the swing. I would only walk so far along the unknown trail.

Today while I was at the park with my brother, I realized I haven't changed much. I still have that fear of falling that keep me from climbing higher or jumping of the swing. In spite of the fact that I am now older and supposedly different, I still focus on the risks.

Sometimes in life it is so easy to get caught up in trying to be prepared and trying to be safe that we put ourselves in bubbles. For fear of failing, for fear of falling, we shy away from potentially painful or even just awkward situations. It can be easy to look at a situation and decide that there is too much risk.

What I'm slowly learning though (very, very slowly learning), is that sometimes the risks are worth it.

Tonight, when I actually for once in my life swung as high as I could for as long as I could, I thought about all the great things that have happened because I took a chance. It may not have been easier, and yeah, maybe there were a few risks that ended in disaster, but they were worth it. Because of chances taken, I've made new friends, tried new things, I've  learned and I've grown.

Swinging as I high as I could, breathing in the cool night air, ignoring the feeling of my stomach dropping, I realized thought about how life is risky.

And you know, life is worth the risk.