Friendly Face

This past week, I was reminded by a five year old how to start a conversation and make a friend.

I was walking through a park, drinking a cup of tea one afternoon. The chilly wind cut through the warmth of the sun, but it was still a beautiful day for being outside. As I made my way toward the library, I saw a family pull into the parking lot. A little blonde boy climbed out of the car excitedly, and I couldn't help but smile at his loud and excited voice.

My path winded down a slight slope, leaving the playground on top of a little hill next to me. I had almost passed it completely when I heard that excited voice again.

"Hey!" he called.

I turned and sure enough, the little blonde boy was looking down at me. "Well, hi." I smiled up at him.

"What's your name?"

"I'm Karley."

"I'm Andy," he said in a matter of fact tone, gesturing to himself with the stick in his hand.

A girl even smaller than Andy came tottering over.

Andy noticed her behind him and pointed at her. "Oh, this is my sister,..." When he said her name, he slurred it in his little kid voice so I couldn't catch what he said.

She tried to say something as well, but Andy was not to be interrupted. He held his arm straight in front of him, holding his stick out to me. "I found a sharp stick!" He held his prize closer to him and inspected it as he continued, "It was made in China. It's really old, over a million years old!"

"Wow!" I said, my eyes widening. "That is old."

"Yeah." He ran down the hill and came to a stop a few feet in front of me, tilting his head to the side. "I'm five and I have a real nerf sword."

"Oh wow," I repeated, smiling at the boy.

"And I've seen a real gun." He held out his arms out about shoulder length. "It was this long." Before he could tell me the details of where he saw this impressive weapon, his mom started to call him.

His friend came over and Andy made his way up the hill, still talking to me. "This is Nick," he told me, talking over his friend's voice. Andy started to say something else, but decided against it as his mom called again.

He turned and left, giving into to his friend's urges to come back to the playground.

I went to the library with a grin on my face, Andy's words playing in my head and making me glow.

It always amazes me how kids are able to so fearlessly speak to people they don't know. They don't worry about if what they are saying is right.

The thing is, kids seem to understand the importance of talking to people. They understand that sometimes, when it comes to making friends, it doesn't matter what you say as long as you say something. All you have to do is start by saying hi.

Learn to Listen

Have you ever just sat in a room and stayed completely silent? Sat there and let everyone around you speak? You absorb everything that is being said and try to understand, without filling in the empty spaces with your voice.

Instead of trying to be heard, you try to hear.

I've discovered that when I try to do this, when I let others speak, I learn.

Unfortunately, I'm often guilty of being quick to speak. As a result, I talk too fast, saying things that are random and often times, foolish. (I also miss half the conversation because I'm trying to gather my thoughts.)

Yet when I listen, I'm able to understand so much more. Instead of focusing on what I'm saying, I'm able to actually hear the words of others. I get to find out more about people and actually remember what they tell me.

Then if I do actually have something to say, it tends to have more importance, or at least be more coherent. It isn't some random, jumbled thought that I'm spitting out just to hear myself. It actually has meaning, and so I end up being more comfortable, more sure of what I'm saying. I feel less embarrassed to speak, simply because I stopped for a moment and listened.

James 1:19 sums it up saying, "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:"  Basically, one of the greatest skills we can learn is how to let words in before we spit words out.

That is my prayer tonight: that I would learn to be quick to listen and slow to speak.